Why you should stop saying “rape” casually in games

I know this is going to be a hot-button for a lot of you, so I wanted to be sure I could lay it all out here before I pressed it. If you agree that you should avoid identity-based bigotry in games, then you should also avoid using the word “rape” in a casual context. Before you flip your angry troll switch to overdrive, read on.

This anonymous article about using rape in games at The Escapist written by a male rape survivor should be enough. Read the whole thing (seriously, read it). A few notable quotes are below.

“This isn’t about feminists being offended, this is about how the ill-use of sensitive topics can hurt people.”

“Part of that preventive maintenance is avoiding things, known as “triggers,” that might dig up the raw emotions of my abuse. If you want to know what that’s like, think of Bruce Banner in The Avengers, constantly looking over his shoulder for something that might make him lose his grip on himself.”

“Using the word “rape” in an online game is not some kind of longstanding tradition or a definitive part of the culture. I’ve been a gamer for well over two decades, and this term hasn’t been around more than a handful of years.”

If, after reading that, you’re still on the pro-rape bandwagon (Oh, sorry, does that sound ridiculous? That’s because it is), I’ve got more. As I was personally sorting through this, one of the questions that kept popping up in my mind was “games are all about violence, and rape is an act of violence, why should that be precluded when saying ‘I’m going to shoot you in your f*cking head’ is okay?”

I was having a hard time reconciling that particular issue, so I asked someone who knew more about the whole thing and could lend me some words to help. Alex Duffy provided me with the following response, and I think it’s just plain fantastic.

The difference between rape and murder is that there is no murder culture. By that, I mean our society has fully accepted murder as absolutely horrible crime. It’s (almost always) fully investigated and afterwards there are pretty much no questions like “Were they asking for it?” “What were they wearing?” “Did they ACTUALLY not want to die?”. It’s always taken seriously. There is rarely victim blaming or objectification. Rape is a different story.

More than half of the instances of rape are NEVER reported. I’m not sure where you’re from, but the state of North Carolina didn’t even make domestic rape between married couples a crime until 1992. That’s appalling.

Because this is the culture, the line of what is right and wrong for some people is much fuzzier when it comes to sexual harassment (as it’s related to rape) than when it comes to physical threats (as it’s related to murder). It makes society unsafe for victims of sexual abuse and raises the bar for what is sexual harassment and what isn’t (wolf-whistling, cat calls, male gaze). It promotes the idea that women want this attention because she’s wearing make up, or a short skirt, or walking past a construction site, or complementing her boss. That if she gets drunk at a party she’s fair game, and if she passes out it’s even fairer.

I know it’s wrong, and I’m sure you do too as someone who would start a website like this, but how many kids don’t see it as it is: rape? Because “rape” has been trivialized and it starts with using it as a joke, sometimes even used in a positive way.

It doesn’t just have to be a women issue either. A good example to think about is all the prison rape jokes. So few people care about that, because they’re criminals regardless of their crime, that it’s generally considered acceptable. Guards look the other way and kids at home make fun of the idea.

A quote from the following article:

Rape culture is encouraging men to use the language of rape to establish dominance over one another (“I’ll make you my bitch”). Rape culture is making rape a ubiquitous part of male-exclusive bonding.Rape culture is ignoring the cavernous need for men’s prison reform in part because the threat of being raped in prison is considered an acceptable deterrent to committing crime, and the threat only works if actual men are actually being raped.

The article contains very good, realistic descriptions of what a rape culture is and how rape and sexual abuse is trivialized and promoted. It also references most of its examples: http://www.shakesville.com/2009/10/rape-culture-101.html

Rape culture is the myriad ways in which rape is tacitly and overtly abetted and encouraged having saturated every corner of our culture so thoroughly that people can’t easily wrap their heads around what the rape culture actually is.

^ That is the bottom line. It is everywhere and it’s such a joke that people don’t recognize what rape culture is.

tl;dr: Stop casually saying “rape.” It’s a terrible thing to make light of.

glhf,

Gamers Against Bigotry

http://twitter.com/eirwen29 Rina

It’s sad that to be taken seriously, it needs to be established that men get raped. I’m a female and while I love playing FPS etc, I hate how i’m constantly harrassed and expected to accept rape jokes as the norm. Being a survivor of sexual abuse, it’s not funny and it’s a constant trigger. However, I have to be careful how I address it lest my experience gets written off. It’s just depressing overall
- http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann
  
  It really is distressing, Rina. As I wrote (and bolded) “male,” my shoulders hunched a bit. But this is one of those things that people can easily dismiss as a non-issue because they don’t think it will ever affect them (regardless of their gender), so I think the fact that the author of that article was male was particularly poignant.
- http://twitter.com/Relengua Relengua
  
  the actual sad thing is that when EVERYBODY talks about rape the last thing they think about is men, when men get raped more than women in america. FACT.
  - Mark Carroll
    
    Yeah, how about ‘no.’ While rape of men does happen, your ‘fact’ is a load of codswallop.
  - Katie
    
    Hey, I know this conversation is like a month old, but I just wanted to post this link:
    http://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
    
    You can look into the studies and question the methodology; you can argue that since rapes of all kinds are under-reported, RAINN’s statistics on gender are not fully reflective of reality. But I just wanted to point out a credible source that claims that 90% of rape victims are female.
  - dragonsflight5188
    
    well its more unfortunate that men who get “raped” by women are mocked and others say they enjoy it.. if you do not want to be touched by someone and either a male or female is forced into anything sexual that is rape… I am not sure which statistic is a higher percentage but it happens and its shameful. Women can be cruel and are not reported because if she were the abuser she could turn it around and “blame the guy”
  - Jaye
    
    Only if you include prison rape. Which is still rape and has its own culture but is *localized* rather than *pervasive*.
- tacotime
  
  if you hear someone saying it online you can probably say that you’re a sexual abuse victim and they’d gladly stop. But in online multiplayer games, trash-talking and obscene language are simply part of how it goes i’m afraid. Should we stop using the phrase “I’m gonna murder you!” in games if someone is a victim of attempted murder? The same goes with any vulgar term used. Most will most likely tone it down if they know there’s an actual abuse victim in the game with them. But trash-talking online is something that you will never stop the CoD kiddies from doing because the majority of them are 12 year olds who just started being allowed to curse and think they’re cool for doing it.
  - Erica
    
    Did you even read the article?
http://www.esperino.com/ Jess

Jim Sterling (also over at The Escapist) did a really good video talking about the depiction of Rape vs Murder in video games as well. Definitly worth a look when discussion the issue too imho

> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jimquisition/5972-Rape-vs-Murder
GurlNxtDoor

Thank you for this. There are not words to express my anger and hatred of the unfortunate existance of rape culture. It’s awful how much I understand this based on my own, friends’ of mine, friends of friends’ experiences with rape and sexual assault. This needs to stop. I try to take hope from posts like this. Thank you again for starting GAB.
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Mabans

Sorry, but I can’ agree with this. By allowing the terms to always be taken literally diludes the idea of context. It is a great idea not saying it’s inherently bad but there are difference between the literal meaning and connotation of a word. People don’t really mean that a something is lower in temperature when they enjoy a song that they deem as “cool”. Grated the meaning of the word of
“cool” doesn’t have the inherent horror as the word rape but if 2 gamers are talking about a competitive aspect of a game, and one refers to his team being “raped” by another in terms of being absolutely without a doubt beaten then it’s safe to say that there intentions isn’t one of insensitivity. There needs to be a healthy dialog and I do agree with the overall sentiment of it but when are taken to the otherside of the spectrum then the understand of what is being don and said is no different than others just being rude. keep up the good fight and glad other gamers are done with being about this nonsense..
- http://www.esperino.com/ Jess
  
  But the purpose of using the term ‘rape’ in a gaming context is directly linked to the literal meaning; it’s the implication that one person has power over another and that the loser was dominated, violated and humiliated.
  
  // While there are some terms that have little connection to their origins (i.e. ‘cool’) there are also words (especially insults) that are/were used specifically because of the original meaning. For example calling a person ‘retarded’ as an insult is meant to imply the other person is stupid/dumb because of its original negative associations with people who have an intellectual disability (which of course in turn acts to insult said people).
  
  // tl;dr – even if someone says the term ‘rape’ without themselves directly connecting it to its origins, the original meaning is still the whole reason it is used in that context. Even if that connection is not the speaker’s purpose, for the benefit of others it is better to curb the word’s use because of the many other issue it raises.
  - PostSilenceShhh
    
    Which simply reinforces the fact that context is important. Saying “I got raped” in reference to your game performance is NOT a tacit endorsement of rape, the mistreatment of women or incarcerated persons, or the denial of victims rights.
    
    I’m sorry, I just can’t endorse the idea that a word is no longer acceptable simply because others find it offensive. Your personal sensitivity to a word is not an authoritative reason to ban me from using that word.
    - Mark Carroll
      
      Go back and re-read the Rape Culture article. It doesn’t require that you accept it or not – by using the term, you’re contributing to the problem. And bonus points for the censorship argument, which hasn’t been put forth.
      
      Your entire spiel is a beautiful illustration of privilege in action.
      - PostSilenceShhh
        
        Maybe *you* should go back and re-read the Rape Propaganda article. The use of the term “rape” — no matter the context — does NOT constitute an endorsement of rape. The ONLY way to endorse rape is to commit rape. Fact. Undeniable. End of argument.
      - http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Vimes/769510573 Sam Vimes
        
        I hope you get raped. Look I just endorsed rape without committing rape. So that’s that argument blown to hell…
        
        Try again dear your privilege is showing.
      - Dragoon893
        
        You are horrible.
- Dragoon893
  
  What the fuck is wrong with you.
PostSilenceShhh

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I have absolutely no problem with the use of the word “rape” in any context. I don’t care if it’s a Tosh joke, gaming banter, or anything else. If you want to say rape, or that I got raped, or that it would be funny if I got raped, knock yourself out. Doesn’t mean anything to me.

Just because you say the word, doesn’t mean my abuser or some other attacker is suddenly going to jump out of my closet and rape me. No one decides to become a rapist when they hear the word rape. And no rapist is waiting for someone else to bring up rape before they decide to go rape.

If you want to stop rape, stop rapists.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Vimes/769510573 Sam Vimes
  
  part of the way you stop rapists is to stop making the idea of rape in any way acceptable. If you say it’s acceptable to say you’re going to rape someone because they can’t physically carry out the threat online then you’re not a very long way from saying it’s acceptable to say you’re going to rape someone when you couldn’t carry it out immediately due to being in a built up area.
  
  A number of studies have shown that where rape culture is embraced rapists feel empowered and may even deny that act they have done constitute rape (although when you ask them ‘have you ever engaged in sexual activity with someone who was not entirely willing’ they will happily answer yes).
  
  If you’re ok with talk of rape and rape jokes/culture then bully for you but there is no denying that it makes rapists feel empowered and a lot of women/rape victims feel threatened, intimidated and triggered and why should they have to feel that way because people won’t being gratuitously offensive? It’s not like it’s gong to hurt them to stop using it is it?
- Dragoon893
  
  You dumb
RAPE

RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
- A.
  
  My, how clever.
9gaglegion

i had sex with my cousin when she was 8 and i was 16 does that count as rape? she DID say yes
- Mark Carroll
  
  Consenting adults, genius. Children don’t have the mental or emotional capability to judge those sorts of actions.
  So yes, congratulations, you’re a rapist, and a pedophile to boot.
namerequired

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll
have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve
been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300
confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper
in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another
target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which
has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You
think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet?
Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of
spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better
prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic
little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be
anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and
that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in
unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United
States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your
miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only
you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever”
comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your
fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the
price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will
drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
- DM
  
  Haha! Can’t spell ‘guerilla’ but you expect us to believe you’re a Navy Seal?
- CapnCoconuts
  
  Ooh, Internet Tough Guy! I’m SOOOOOOO scared!
Reader

See, but saying things like “over half of rapes are never reported” is bullshit, because, if it’s never reported, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING THAT STATISTIC FROM?! That’s like saying “over half the people who wanted McCain/Palin to win didn’t vote”, they’re not in office because they didn’t get enough votes, even if a bunch of people wanted them to win, they didn’t try to be accounted for, and therefor cannot be used as part of a voter statistic. When you say things like “over half of rapes are never reported” it just makes you sound like you don’t understand how statistics work, the scientific method works, or that you’re just plain stupid.
In closing, go get your anal cavity consensually stuffed by a bunch of dirty llamas. I hope you brought llama lube.
Cheers,
A very annoyed reader
- CapnCoconuts
  
  Actually, the FBI estimates that only one in ten rapes are reported to the police. But I doubt you’d even care; you’re probably just here to troll.
- JaydedLayde
  
  Bless your heart, “Annoyed” Reader! You’ve managed to go and get yourself all worked up! Take a few deep breaths. It will all be ok.
  
  Now, while I could not find, anywhere in the article or on the site for that matter, the author’s predilection for llamas, I’m sure he appreciates your concern for his comfort. That being said, I can only hazard to guess that he got his statistic from here:
  http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates or maybe from here:
  http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv10.pdf (Page 10, Table 7). Given that the statistic is 50% for 2010, he’s within the +/- ratio of being correct when he said “over half”.
  So, about that whole “it just makes you sound like you don’t understand how statistics work, or how the scientific method works, or that you’re just plain stupid” remark, please don’t choke on it while you’re eating that humble crow pie with the shoe leather crust.
  Oh, and if you’re having trouble getting that pie down, I’ve heard it’s easier to eat if you get that apology out of your mouth first. Cheers!
thesillyoldbear

Serious question: what about rape in the old sense? As in to rape the land? A very popular expression in Battlefield 3 is “Base Raping” and I’ve always taken it in the old sense. Is that just looking the other way?
- Alex Duffy
  
  I would argue that it’s looking the other way – especially considering it isn’t being used in the “old sense” which I believe implies making the land unsuitable for living and growth etc. Regardless there is no reason to continue using the word rape to describe either activity when others are available and do not trigger painful reactions; eg: “base camping”.
Tweeg

I think trying to say the difference between murder and rape is that society has fully accepted murder as absolutely horrible crime and rape not so much is a bit hyperbolic and honestly absurd.

When you’re discussing making the gaming “world” a better place for all you can’t use american society as a template. Gaming is global, and I find it hard to beleive that american society views rape less serious than murder, in fact some tv shows and movies have gone as far to hint that you can experence somethings worse than death, rape being one of them.

Also I came to this site because I like the idea of a inclusive gaming community. But the articles I have found linked on the site come off as intolerant as the people you want to fight against, antagonizing, and belittling. Why talk “down” to your readers?

When you say things like “Before you flip your angry troll switch to overdrive, read on.”, its almost like you are expecting a fight from your readers. Why communicate to people like that ?

Also I find that you’re expressing the idea that words are more important than their context.

When someone says they’re going to rape you in a video game, its the same as when they say they are going to kill you.
If taken literally its a appalling thing to say. But I doubt anyone who uses those terms actually intends to hunt someone down and either murder them or force sexual intercourse upon them.
The context of those sentences is that they’re going to beat you at this game by an extreme amount. Context is important and I think its dangerous to sweep it under the rug. When you do that, you’re expressing the idea that you should ignore someones message and just focus on the words they are using. Thats not encouraging a dialog, thats not how people should communicate, thats dangerous.

I do think its understandable that people find terms like rape, murder, kill, etc offensive, but I don’t think its possible to say something is definably offensive. Because whats offensive is subjective. Whats offensive to me may not be offensive to you, what offends someone has everything to do with them as a person, their morals, religious beliefs, the community they belong to, etc. Its completely subjective so you can’t just say, this term is wrong period. It can however be offensive to you personally.

Someone saying, I’m going to beat you could be more offensive to someone than rape. Mainly because domestic abuse is still an issue around the world, and not just to women. Men could be offended by this as well since there is a large amount of domestic violence against men that goes unreported because of the social stigma associated with it. But thats getting off topic and starting to get into semantics of what words are worse.

I believe that when you start to categorize words as a faux pas, you give them power. You allow them to shock, offend, hurt someone because you make it normal for them to be perceived that way regardless of their context. And that gives weapons to biggots, misogynists and jerks in general.

We should be working towards taking the power away from these words.
The gamer community should strive to promote the old message of sticks and stones.
A wise woman once said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt was right, why promote a message of taking things out of context, one of censorship when you can promote one of taking the power away from jerks. Not going through life like a exposed nerve.

Movies, video games, books, all have violence as entertainment. Action movies are full of one dimensional characters whose only purpose in the film are to be an obstacles that are to be dealt with through violence. But it doesn’t take away from the shock or the horror of real violence. Just like using the term rape doesn’t take away from the seriousness of when rape actually happens.

Its because people can view things in their context. So although I agree with the spirit of this site and stories like this. I disagree with censorship, and real adults don’t go through life like a exposed nerve. They remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt and don’t let some idiot with a fowl mouth have power over them.
- Katie
  
  Except that all of this ignores two issues.
  1. When someone tells you it hurts them to talk casually about rape, why do you cling to still being able to do it anyway? You want to use your free speech to hurt people with less power than you? Obviously you can legally say whatever you want, but why do you want to be hurtful on purpose? That seems pretty weird to me.
  2. And the power issue leads to my second point. Murder isn’t about structural power dynamics the same way rape is. Murder isn’t an inherently gendered issue the way rape is. Murder isn’t about male privilege the way rape is. (Obviously men can be raped, but rapes, whether of men or of women, are usually committed by men.) One in six American women will be raped in their lifetimes, which means if you know more than six women you probably know at least one rape victim. Murders are generally isolated events; there is no murder culture. You can argue that references to rape in gaming don’t contribute to rape culture, but they definitely make the people who use them look like ignorant, immature children and they create a hostile, threatening environment in a way that non-gendered violent language never could. It’s a little ridiculous to complain about censorship and freedom of speech when you’re clearly coming from a place of privilege. It’s like white people complaining about not being “allowed” to use the n word, or USA evangelicals claiming that they are being persecuted.
  I’m not sure how else to explain that talking about rape in this way is just plain wrong. Maybe go to rainn.org or go do some reading about rape culture? Maybe read this on privilege: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyriarchy
  - Tweeg
    
    This has nothing to do with male entitlement or privilege.
    You’re setting up straw-man.
    
    Statistics about rape vs murder are irrelevant.
    
    Bringing up a example of people complaining about “not being allowed” to use the “n word” is ridiculous as well.
    Everyone is allowed to use whatever word they want. To suggest otherwise is to encourage the creation of thought crime.
    
    Do you honestly subscribe to the idea that someone’s gender or race can dictate their vocabulary ?
    
    Shouldn’t we strive for a world that doesn’t encourage limitations on what someone can say or do based on their race/gender ?
    
    If I’m wrong please correct me but I’m getting the impression that you are saying context doesn’t matter.
    
    Can you not see how close minded that line of thinking could be?
    I think its more important to focus on what people are expressing than what words they use to express it.
    
    As for any power issues, is there no greater equalizer than a online game ?
    No one can physically intimate you, theres no real danger of violence, you even have the ability to “mute” someone. I can’t think of a greater equalizer than that, so the idea that someone may encounter someone with less power than them is ridiculous. Someone’s limitations in power online are self imposed.
    
    Whats offensive and what hurts people is all in their perception.
    If you choose to perceive a word as hurtful than it will be.
    
    I think its safe to say that the word “Fuck” has lost alot of its shock value. Some people are still shocked and offended to hear it, while others use it as their main, verb, noun, adjective, and pretty much main form of communication.
    
    And how did this happened? People decided that this word would no longer shock/hurt them.
    
    The same can be done for any other word, because we the listener have that power and to suggest other wise is taking power away from someone.
    
    I appreciate the links you provided but if I may suggest something in turn, please look up the definition of semantics, because it seems a majority of your post contains a argument around them, and is that honestly the best way to approach this subject?
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http://www.facebook.com/christina.myers.712 Lou Myers

Thank you for touching on this topic! I hide behind a male handle or a male avatar when playing with others, but I still called people out on this subject particularly. I hated all the justifications being thrown my way (Freedom of speech, you’re just sensitive, political correctness blah, blah) and so I left and game only with friends or simply play a bunch of FPS games by myself. I am glad that it isn’t as tacitly accepted as I felt it was.
iwi

As a female gamer, I already take a lot of crap. Having been raped in the past, it drives me to the point of leaving games when people start joking around and teasing about rape. Is there anything I can do in those situations? Saying something like “hey, that’s not funny” only makes it worse. I guess they’re just trolls and logic doesn’t work with them, but it just feels so hopeless. Even having a serious discussion with a friend ended with him saying “chill the fuck out and get over it, it happens to animals all the time and they’ve got no problem”. Ugh. What do?
- Amanda
  
  Don’t feel hopeless, you should never feel hopeless! I’ve learned that the best way to discuss these sorts of things starts with the people that you know best. Open up to them, don’t just say “Hey, that’s not funny” tell them why it isn’t funny, explain it to them using your story. I’m a survivor too and yeah the first couple times you open up are hard as hell, but eventually you can tell people without breaking down completely. I explained to them that every time they said that word a picture of my attackers came to mind and that when they play games online they have no idea what sorts of images people get in response to those triggers.
mustard

i’m not British nor American, but i like to play w/ English users. and i always wondered why people so much likes to use rape stuffs just for fun. in here, people always point out if someone makes joke with such words.
but in English community, forum, game, etc, i never seen someone points out that. so i thought “this is quite weird. is this normal to use this word for nothing? are they feel comfortable with that? odd.” and there was tons of people joking about rape, nazi, and swear. but now i’m glad cuz there’s a person who have morality and view.
i’ve heard the stories from sexually harassed, sexually assaulted women. and i thought they’ll get hurt if they see people uses such harsh words for nothing. i think it’s better to keep it inside if you are not going to hurt victims’ feeling or joke about this cruel act.
Dan

Here’s the thing. I am not a fan of hurting people’s feelings with words but sometimes it happens. Sometimes I notice and apologize, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes, I am a jerk and notice and don’t apologize and point out freedom of speech or political correctness but most of the time I try to be respectful both online and irl (more so as I get older and more mature). Sometimes I use the term rape in a gaming context usually after a really bad game as in “I just got raped!” I am not much of a taunter or a trash talker but when I do it, I focus on my opponents abilities rather than race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. as this site suggests. I dislike it when I hear bigoted comments and I generally stop being friends with and stop gaming those who truly are bigots. If I call someone on bigotry and they apologize or show that they realize they crossed the line, I pretty much assume they didn’t mean to be a bigot and probably aren’t really when it comes down to it.

Here’s where you have to start drawing some lines. I try to keep my online behavior behaviour the same as my real life behaviour. I wouldn’t go around saying nigger in front of a black person (and you will note that I am not afraid to type the actual word because it IS about the context; I am talking about the word, not calling someone that) because it is not socially acceptable. I also would not use the word rape in front of a rape surivor because that is also not socially acceptable. I would also not use the word retard around a mentally handicapped person. The reason I don’t use those words around those people is because I am trying not to offend them, not because the words are inherently bad. Those words have become socially unacceptable by their most common uses IN CONTEXT so much that to use them outside of the context brings all the socially unacceptable context with it, FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE.

I try to avoid creating these negative situations as much as possible but I don’t get too worked up if I forget. If someone calls me on it or I catch myself offending someone, I apologize and move on. If it turns into a bigger issue, as has occasionally happened, I try to talk it out and have a decent civil discussion and work things out rationally or at least, agree to disagree.

There are always going to be people who get offended and those who get off on offending people. All you can really control about that is your own response to either situation. I prefer to take a balanced aproach but try to understand others and why they do things. I hope that when I do use a term that offends someone, that they will let me know or take it in the context that it was intended.

The act of rape is a terrible thing that I would never wish on anyone but the use of the word in the context of gaming is an extreme exaggeration of a event (severe loss in a game) that isn’t really matching the use of the term. That’s why it was first used that way; to make it sound like something terrible just happened to you. The same thing goes for the term “I owned/pwned you”. It’s all about exaggeration, not an implication of slavery. If everyone started using the word “flizzle” in place of rape, it wouldn’t take long before flizzle started being the bad word and sooner or later, the gamers would start saying, “I totally flizzled you, dude!” Any survivor of rape would only be offended if they knew what the word meant.

Having said all that, I think I will try to use the word rape less since I do know that a lot of people have been raped, but I never really did like the “I just got owned” term much better and “I just got fucked” just doesn’t hold the power that it used to. What do you recommend we say instead? (not being sarcastic, I am actually looking for something else to say)

Dan
cock

why you should SHUT UP:
reason 1:
shut up
RAPE

RAPE RAPE RAPE!
Nigger

This is pathetic
Anonymous

I’ll rape you’re ass, bitch
soveryconcerned

Hey! I just noticed the default avatar picture for anonymous posters is a masculine silhouette! Someone should change that because it may force someone to remember the way the silhouette plowing them looked! That’d be no good! (((((((
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Dragoon893

Someone finally fucking said it. It needs to be stopped.
thoughtcrime

I’m sorry, but seriously grow a pair.

If you’re playing a game where the entire point is to MURDER people (like a FPS), you should be desensitized enough to handle someone using the word rape in chat.

Rape is a terrible crime, and I feel for rape victims, but you’re a complete idiot if you think people using the word rape while playing a violent video game contributes to “rape culture.”

Anyone who feels otherwise should recall the old childhood adage “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Seriously.
Sarin

Lol “no murder culture”, are you actually serious?

That’s actually laughable.

Gamers Against Bigotry

Why you should stop saying “rape” casually in games

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